im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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