dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
