I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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