We're facebook friends in real life
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
