the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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