A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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