I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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