Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
