help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
