Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
