Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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