Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
