my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
We have started to decorate penises.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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