I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
