I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
