Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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