We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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