So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
