Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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