You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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