The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
why do cheetos always look like penises
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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