No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
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