If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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