was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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