are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
