People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
