we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
