Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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