You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I need moral support for this bender
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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