She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
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