she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
COCAINE IS GR8
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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