areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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