so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
The dick lei will go down in squad history
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
