Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
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that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
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Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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