i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
We need to get me chipped asap
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
