If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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