i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
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I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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