she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
