the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
