No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize