I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
