ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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