the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
And then my night got REAL pukey
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
