He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
