whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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