Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
