The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
