I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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