he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Farmville is her only friend.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
