just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
