Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
My vagina is officially offended.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
