never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize