this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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