but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
