Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
