I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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