the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
