If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
