covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
