clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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